Chai Me Up!


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I noticed that I have such boring reviews lately. My disappointment in products obvious to the world! It’s time to give hope and some much needed positive reinforcement that there is awesome product in the world! All right, drama aside. Done to business!

I picked something that really is hard to find crappy product of, which I have before! Don’t get me wrong, there is a way to get a bad formula. So what am I talking about? This mysterious product is MASSAGE OIL! Yeahhh! Now this isn’t something that you use directly for sex or what not, so some of you might be wondering why I am even bothering reviewing a massage oil! Well simple enough answer… massage oils can be the kick start you need to set the mood and create that desire you both need! Now I said it is fairly straight forward at picking one, which it is. Massage oils typically have the same consistency. The one thing that you find with trial and error though is if they are long lasting and smooth. That really is something that differs between people. Some skin might absorb the oil quickly, it may just dry out faster then you prefer. The texture of the oil on skin is really dependant on the parties using it, I love it when it is wet and smooth. I don’t want to feel it start to dry at all because my hands will feel like they are chaffing against my partner’s back. These all make a difference. The easiest thing you can pick in an oil is the scent! There are soo many out there that stimulate you in different ways. They can relax you or excite you! It all depends on what mood you want to set.

My new favorite oil that I am going to share with you all is this. Chai. One word. Well perhaps you need more information then that. Intimate Organics Chai. One word to describe it? Delicious. And I don’t mean that I’m eating it, because you really shouldn’t eat massage oils, I don’t exactly know what would happen to you if you did. Well of course that is unless it is an edible one. Frankly though, I don’t care for the edible ones. They feel grainy and dry out. BUT this oil my friends is A-MAZING! Mainly because the scent is to die for, but we’ll get there!

First off it does not come in a box or anything, which is what you expect with a massage oil. The cap is typical and the same as anything else. It’s a cylinder bottle, nothing special but you don’t need special. You need something that works. You can see it in my picture above that, it is exactly like that.

The oils itself is great. It has a very smooth feeling. This is something you all want to know, even if the chai scent doesn’t entice you (in which case you are… CRAZY), they have five other scents to choose from. That’s six total scents, you’ll be able to find something you love! Now oil is thin and can be messy. You never want to spill it on your carpet or wood floors though. Doesn’t matter the brand, oil is not to be messed with! It likes to stain things. So… that said, it is easy to clean off your hands or any other part of the body if you put more on then you like. Just use a warm cloth, and I say warm because cold water would just send chills to my bones! But if you are someone that likes freezing cold water touching you, then that works too.

The chai scent has vanilla in it. It actually says vanilla and chai on the label. A very nice complimentary balance. Chai is something I don’t really know much about. So the best way I can describe the scent is something spicy. Like a spicy cinnamon-ishy kind of smell. With vanilla, you can’t forget that. I LOVE vanilla too!

I give this oil a 9/10. It’s been a while since I’ve actually given points. The only reason it doesn’t get a 10/10 is because that has to be elusive for something that really blows me out of the water! The elusive perfect score. Back to reality, it’s my favorite new massage oil!

Let Down By The Hype


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With this book virtually everywhere (which includes a hotel removing the bible in place of this) you can’t ignore it. There is way to much hype going on for this thing! It has been referred to as “mommy porn” which is probably because you can not only read it in front of your kids without them understanding it’s a dirty book but also because since it’s in the media so much people that would feel awkward about purchasing it are more adept to reading it because they feel that everyone is! If you don’t know what I’m talking about then the book is Fifty Shades of Grey. If you still don’t know then good. Don’t look into it, your one of the few that are safe from its snarl!

I haven’t exactly finished this book yet. There are also two other in the series after this one, but frankly let’s not get ahead of ourselves. That’s my disclaimer, you can agree to disagree and say since I haven’t finished it then I can’t say anything. Whatever, that’s a lie. I read more then enough! I’d like to keep my sanity.

The first thing about this book is the poor writing. The author tries sooo hard! It’s actually really frustrating. You can tell in the beginning she understand the importance of character development. She wants to create an attachment to some degree early in the book. She does a little over kill though. It becomes very repetitive. She over emphasizes how clumsy, low confidence, utter lack of sexual self esteem, and how socially awkward the main character, Anastasia Steele is. Her exact opposite counter part is Christian Grey. And I mean literally the exact opposite. He’s totally in control all the time, a complete control freak, he picks his words very carefully, always collected and looks professional. I understand that the whole polar opposites thing is suppose to be an important aspect in this book. Frankly though, no on is this extreme!

Now the author has trouble sticking with these character traits. You can tell, it’s very unnatural for anyone to be like that. She forgets what she set up just a page or two before. Now this Ana who was shy, clumsy, awkward, and thought she was in no means pretty has guys asking her out left and right! Her “beautiful” (according to her) room mate even tells her how gorgeous she is constantly. She has a close male friend that she knows for a fact wants to be with her. How uncharacteristic. I could understand one person telling her those things and not believing it, but when she’s constantly bombarded with it. It makes no sense that she is utterly clueless when it’s obvious she’s not.

Apart from the terrible character development the author also uses very forced language. Ana is suppose to be smart, educated, she’s just about to graduate from University! Problem is she uses common, simple language, which frankly is just like any other girl her age, that has the kind of job she has, that comes from the kind of background she comes from. Then the author inserts language, usually one word, here and there that are at a different level all together. It’s as if she looks for synonymous that sound more educated and just replaces them. If Ana used that language level all the time I wouldn’t think twice about it, but she doesn’t. Thus a huge feeling of the author forcing it.

Once you get to the first sex scene you’re already at the point that nothing is believable about these characters. They are too extreme so it is no surprise that their first sexual encounter is also just that. When he proposes his BDSM lifestyle to her she asks silly, child-like questions. Her immaturity is spewing out. Then he gets mad, then he’s not mad, then they go have sex. Her first time having sex. UGH, how unrealistic this sex is. Warning, I will spoil this moment for you if you haven’t read it.

So she hardly knows the guy but she’s in complete lust. That’s fine, it happens. He is unable to control himself when she bits her lip. Which is odd for a man that doesn’t have any emotions or facial expressions. But I digress. She’s the first person ever to be brought into his bedroom, and the first person he ever makes “love” to or has “vanilla” sex with. She has never masturbated before and obviously, since she’s soo innocent and naive. But he asked her to show him how she does it. Of course even if she had before she’d say no, they aren’t at that level of trust for a girl like Ana.

Down to the nitty gritty. He thrusts in her hard. And she melts immediately. Every time he touches her she’s about the climax. Then once they’re done the bed is covered in blood. But she didn’t feel a thing. Oh and then they sleep on top of the blood. Then in the morning they bath and go back to lie on top of the blood while he makes her climax easily again. The whole thing is a joke. Nothing about it is relate-able, and if you can relate to her experiences then you are some special person.

Frankly, while I tried to continue reading I just couldn’t. Nothing can be harder to read then a poorly written book with such unbelievable scenarios that are hidden in a veil of sex. Like we wouldn’t notice. If you value how much work it takes for a good author to pump out a book, you’ll find one of them and read their work. This was terrible. What a blatant shame to the industry.

It’s a Dud


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I like to try out lubes of all varieties. I find that no matter what kind of sex you have you can always use a lube if you want. This time I thought I’d go for a warming lube. I’ve tried Sliquid before but with no success. I ended up chucking the other lube of theirs. It just wasn’t for me but I figured I’d try again. 

It has the same design on the bottle with the little flower-like design in the lower corner. Nothing over the top but simple, elegant, and not obnoxious about it being for sex.

About the actual product… similar disappointment as the last kind I tried. I really don’t know what’s wrong with me that I keep going back to a brand that disappoints. This one I won’t chuck out of a moving vehicle over a bridge or anything. It doesn’t have a nauseating scent or flavour like the last one. What it does have is a quick dry mechanism. Basically, if you want a quickie and need a lube that dries fast then this is for you!

There was a nice warming sensation. I’ll give them that. Although that didn’t last too long either. Which depending on how you feel about warming sensations you might like. I bought it for the warming and it failed to last.

The texture of the lube was alright at first. It wasn’t as thick as I prefer but was a little thin for me. Bleh. That made it more challenging to apply with one hand as it slipped easily through my fingers. On the bright side the cap is pretty standard. I liked that. It was easy to open and close with one hand and the bottle stayed clean so I could grab it easily when the time came to reapply because with this lube it’s inevitable.

So I said it dries quick. Which for me it does. Now you can disagree… maybe yours was thick, maybe I’m crazy in thinking this is thin. This isn’t my first encounter with Sliquid. My first encounter went the same way. UGH, really sucks! That all said, I won’t trash it. I can still use it. Thing is, I’ll end up using it when I’m having spontaneous sex, need a lube, and check my drawer to find this is the only thing I have. It’s not like it’s over priced or ridiculous! That’s why I got it in the first place. It’s a fair price but just didn’t have what I was looking for. I feel bad saying that because I know many people that are brand loyal to Sliquid but I just haven’t discovered why.

The last bit that I have to say about this is the ingredients. To me that’s very important! It does contain menthol and parabens. Not something they should be proud of. If you don’t know about those I’ll tell you. Menthol is used to create that warm or cooling sensation. It can dry you out and isn’t really something you want down there. Paraben is a preservative. It has been thought to encourage breast cancer cell growth. It is also easily absorbed through the skin, so really not something you want in your

It really isn’t all that great or exciting. I guess I think the chemicals involved are not worth buying it. I don’t think I’ll get sick from the small amount in there but I certainly will avoid using those chemicals.

It dries quick. Too quick and for that reason I found it frustrating and disappointing. It’s a water based lube but they didn’t do a great job making it long lasting and moist. Too bad. I wouldn’t recommend it.

Simple and Durable


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So with all the things out there that are crazy expensive and have soo many shapes and points to them I figured it’s time to go back to the basics. That’s why I just decided that one of the first Vibs I ever got needed to be pulled out of the drawer, given a good use for memory’s sake, and posted here for everyone to see! It’s just a simple, plastic vibrator called a Mini Pearlessence. You can purchase this online at Eden Fantasies but I originally grabbed mine at a local shop years ago.

 The packaging won’t wow you and the way it looks won’t either. What will WOW you is the price. You can pick this bad boy up for less than 6 bucks! That’s crazy I know! And surely many of you are thinking that this can’t be worth anything if it’s that cheap. Wrong and I’ll tell you why.

First this plastic. Hard plastic. You might not like that but if you don’t care then it has perks. It is SUPER easy to clean! Just pop this under the sink with some warm water and a little soap and you’re golden! Not to mention that you can use what ever lube you like on it! It just takes AA batteries too, so not super hard to find around the house. The one downside is that you must, and I mean MUST, take the batteries out! It will kill the batteries if you just toss it back in the drawer, which I learned the hard way. Now the reason for this is also a nice feature, so it’s a give and take. It has a dial system for the vibrations. Now this means, and I just learned this recently, that it never truly goes completely off. It will continue to take a little bit of the battery power even while you think it’s completely off. But if you don’t care about taking the batteries out, which I don’t really, then the dial system is awesome. You can adjust it, and rather easily, to what ever level you want. It’s easy to adjust while you’re using it too so there’s no need to stop what you’re doing!

Something I found is that I like it turned up all the way. Not only that but as the batteries start dying, if they aren’t full, then it isn’t as strong. So with the hard plastic that it is, I tend to just press it over the clit and press down more. I don’t find it uncomfortable and it doesn’t hurt me doing this. I don’t go crazy, but you can push more on it and it will intensify the sensation. Also sometimes pushing on the cap with make better contact with the batteries and you get more out of it.

It’s a nice smooth design too, so if you like to insert then it’s really simple. If you use it on your clit before then you really don’t need to worry about lube to insert unless you are more dry then I get. It works great and the best part is that this thing last forever!!! Like crazy long! You can toss it in the drawer for a couple years and it still works the same as when you first got it, and it’s super cheap! YAY!

Secretly Something!


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So I have never really tried those “kits” that you can buy. I was always sceptical of them! I mean really…. how good can a kit be? What’s really in these kits, and are these just cheap products thrown into some box and sold me to at an inflated price that they don’t deserve? Maybe they’re just the junk products they couldn’t sell! I have no idea! Or at least I didn’t! I decided to get over my phobia of kits, my fear that there might be some cheap thing that I hated and wish I spent my money on else where! Alright… enough with my babbling and whining! I went out and got one. The company was called Secretly Pink…. hence the title of my post. And yes I do know I did something similar before… and I bet you’re thinking I’m going to be disappointed again. WRONG…. but you’ll have to keep going to find out more.

So the first thing I noticed at the store was that they had more then just these in kit versions. The cream that comes in the kit you can get separately. The only thing you really can’t get on it’s own is the vibrator…. and in the other kits the toys they come with… unless you get a similar toy of a different brand! But I digress. That gave me some hope that it’s not just junk. The other thing that drew me into this was that of the box. Holy cow! How cute! One thing that I love when shopping for my unmentionables, aka sexy fun things, is what the packaging is like. Really I guess that sets the mood for me. If I’m trying something new that I no nothing about and have done no research then I go for the packaging. It sets the stage for my expectations, whether that’s good or bad. This packaging is adorable. It has a very flirting box, Marilyn Monroe style too! (Not that I jump on the band wagon on things like that) but this visually appealed to me. It was very artsy in a sense. The box was pink with some light stripes and everything screamed girly, flirty, fun, and that’s exactly what I was looking for! So I snagged me one of them bad boys, grabbing the Tickle Her Pink Clitoral Kit. I thought that was a fun name too, which was setting the stage to have a fun try with it later, leaving a much more informal sense. They had a few other kits, like a tightening kit with kegel balls and a nipple kit… but I’m not really one for nipple play personal but maybe one day I’ll try it.

I always get excited when I buy something new like this. It’s not something I casually see while shopping and grab while I’m getting my hair cut or buying shoes.  I always go out planning on getting something new to try or something I already love to use. So here I was, buying something again and rushing home to try it. I always make sure I can try my new things that day. I sat around a while checking the products out. The vibrator is a multi-level vib that is a bullet style one too. It seemed to be okay, I like a strong vibration but I wasn’t put off by the sensation in my hand.

So now we get to the fun stuff! I decided it was time to give a go and see what happens. I used the gel and the vib and to my surprise it was fairly fun. I think part of that is the mindset I was in when purchasing and opening that package. I guess I’m easily influenced with outside stimuli. I tried the vibrator alone first. I wanted to understand if the gel truly did anything for me. Alone the vibrator was fun. I liked the bullet style to it because it concentrates the sensation on the clit better then other vibrators that are long or even the finger ones, which I find the silicone tip muffles it.

I went ahead and used the gel next with the vibrator to get an idea on if there was any more of an intense sensation. Well, there was. It wasn’t overwhelming to me which is great because sometimes I can find it too intense on my clit (I know how oh how when I love the intense vibrations). But sometimes when it’s too intense you can’t get the long lasting orgasm with a toy because it is overwhelming and you have to remove the toy, at which point the orgasm goes down exponentially. The gel did intensify just enough, and it wasn’t one of those days for me so it worked out well. I enjoyed it. I thought that perhaps I would try these gels again… I’ve always been sceptical when it comes to something that claims to do something through chemical or extracts. I was pleasantly surprised.

So the moral is to judge a book by its cover. It was cute, fun, and girly on the outside and that’s the kind of fun experience I had with this. I’ll definitely try this with my partner too. It’s one of those things that won’t take away from the moment between you two but will add something different to keep things entertaining.

I have never heard of this product or company brand, Secretly Pink before, but it was really cute and I don’t regret my purchase in the least bit!

The Secret is Out with Shunga!


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I’ve tried something similar in the past before. I believe that I said it was quite an experience for me. Since I’ve had mixed feelings about clitoral gels in the past I figured it would be best to continue the good fight and help everyone weave through the sea of sex. That said my next choice was Shunga Secret Garden.

Now I had this stashed somewhere in my chest of fun but to no avail could it be located. Thus I went out and procured a new bottle. So now you all get to experience that first moment when you bring your new fun home and take it out of the bag. Shuffling through and trying very hard to discard the receipt before my eyes could tell my brain how foolish I was (this was quite more expensive than some of the other products, but nothing is too expensive for sexual gratification, right?). The outside of the box, yes box because this comes inside another box, left much to be desired. Not exactly my taste but that’s just one person right? There’s a geisha on the box, now I loved that movie “Memoirs of a Geisha” but that doesn’t mean I want to be one. So the box isn’t exactly inviting and feels a little silly if you ask me but it’s just a box and I didn’t buy it for looks. So I tossed the box and lo and behold my sinful bottle of clitorial fun. The bottle itself is just black and nothing spectacular but I’m not looking for spectacular packaging. Onto the magic it is.

Now I ran out and bought this so I could do a review for it, so I wasted no time and ran to my room and shut the door. I will on occasion use something like this with my partner but this time was just for me. It says that some women feel the effects right away while others take up to three, that’s right you read it, three applications to feel anything! Well surprise, surprise, I’m one that it takes longer. So looking closer I see that it says three consecutive days! Holy cow who has that much dedication, but for science I say!

The first day was nothing, a little disappointing but I’ve said it before that I’ve had experiences that aren’t the best with clit stuff. So I waited until day two. Still no pleasure bursting from between my legs, no heavenly awesome boom of which to speak. Well at least none thanks to this product. So day three came and went. Still nothing to speak of. No new tingling bits of erotic pleasure. I was determined to give it a fair shake. Onwards I went and day four and five passed. Now I don’t know how long I could continue to use this and hope for something and at this point it was making me more numb then anything.

At last I came to a close on this experiment, which is best for my clit. After five days of application and play, it had enough and seemed to ban me from touching it with this product. I couldn’t get off any longer with this product at my bedside. There was a bit of a smell from the stuff but I masked it with candles which I use during my “alone” time to stimulate my senses. Without the candles and just taking in a whiff from the bottle, it was stronger then I thought it ever should or would be!

Taking a look at the ingredients into this products I was surprised that I ever bought this product in the first place. Since starting this venture into lubes and oils for special moments I found myself more aware of what I was putting in my sensitive areas. The vagina is one sensitive area and can absorb anything you put down there quickly. The last thing we as women need is infections! Secret Garden starts with water as its first ingredient, which tells me that’s the main component. No wonder I found nothing happening in MY secret garden. Then there was glycerin, which is not very good for tending any gardens as it will cause “weeds”, or in English, yeast to grow around my dark, damp, cool place. Reading on through the list I found myself unable to pronounce many ingredients or even know exactly what they were. I’m a little more wary of non-organic products, and even more so when I don’t even know what it is I’m reading.

I’ll pass on this secret garden and leave it to overgrow. I am going to use as much natural and as much organic extracts and ingredients as I can get my hands on to tend to this garden. If you wouldn’t eat it then don’t stick it below I guess. I mean organic is the new thing for farming, so why would your vaginal area be any different?

Joyful Pleasures Butt Plug

Anal sex toys – not so taboo amongst women anymore!

Joyful Pleasures Glass Dildo! Or Butt Plug…So I tried this kind of butt plug the first time I ever had any anal play and it was a little discomforting. However I decided to try it as a more experienced anal-conosseur and thatis what this review is about! Mhm.

In terms of packaging – there isn’t anything wild to say! It comes in a white and orange box with a little window to preview your purchase. The butt plug itself is actually very pretty – it’s transparent but with a little pinky/purpley hue at the top of the plug. Very feminine looking! It’s overall just kind of a nice piece of art, haha. I’m sure there are many free-minded people out there who put these out as mantel pieces.

The material of this plug is, well, glass! Hand-blown glass that is. Which is nice because no two butt plugs are the same this way. Glass is odorless, hypo-allergenic, easy to sterilze and clean, and has no pores! Woohoo. In this case, all lubes are safe, both water-based and silicone.  In terms of cleaning, you can use a toy cleaner, a bleach solution, anti-bacterial soap, whatever works. Glass is very durable! However I wouldn’t boil this bad boy because it isn’t Pyrex and it also has some air bubbles in it. The last thing you want to do is crack your pretty toy! But overall glass is meant to be a very durable and easy to maintain sex toy material, and in terms of liking it, it really all depends on how you feel about it inside of you. Speaking of inside of you – glass allows you to kind of see up into your rectum! While using this toy for solo play, I never feel the urge to see what is going on inside of my rectum! However, some peple who like to play with your ass might just get a kick out of it.

The shape of it is “tear-drop” like and has a small neck leading down to the base. The base itself is kind of large so it wouldn’t be comfortable to put in and then walk around with really, so I’d stick to using it just in the spread open confines of, perhaps, a  bedroom. At least I found that this was the most obvious comfort spot to use this. The large base DOES keep it in plave though, so I wouldn’t worry about it slipping about It’s about 3.5 inches high and has a diameter of 1.5 inches at the main buldge of the teardrop shape. So overall, not HUGEEEE but it does give a full feeling. It is also maybe too big for those who are timid about anal play and who are starting out, but for those who have experienced anal play and want to move to a toy, this wouldn’t be a bad choice. Just take it SLOWWWWW and use lotso’ lubrication! As a vaginal toy, it’s not so hot. The short buldge isn’t really fit for the vagina, and it can slip out easily. However, sometimes short and thick does the trick ! (Har-har haven’t we alllllllll heard that!)

Now for my use – overall it was an OKAYYYY experience. Like I said I used this the first time I ever used an anal toy, or rather someone used it on me. They had played with me enough that I could slowly accept it into my ass, but I just didn’t like the feeling of glass in my ass that much. I didn’t have much to compare it to! I just know that I was kinda squirmy and thinking “Well I don’t think I like this much…”. However, when it came to a soft silicone toy or an actual penis, it felt great. I decided that maybe this was just because it was my first experience and that I should try it again, as I am way more experienced in the anal realm. Exceptttttt SAME kinda thing! Honestly I think it just depends on the person, and I’ve heard the same thing. The toy is slippery and smooth, it offers no resistence and is therefore super easy to get in. It’s just too solid for me! I like the girth, I like full-feeling it provides, I just know that when my ass is getting used to something it doesn’t like the feeling of a rock hard ball up there. Soft toys and dicks give way a bit, and I think that is what  my ass enjoys. So if you’re into glass toys, and you like the full feeling with not intense DEEEEEP long penetration, then this could be a great toy for you. And, like I said, tis pretty.

System Jo Premium Lube for Womennn

On to another lube!

I purchased System JO’s Premium Personal Lube for Women because I was kinda tired for my regular water-based lube, and because in the past I had a few friendly encounters with a male who used a silicone based lube and we had lotso fun with it. I also knew that JO is a fairly high-quality brand and I’ve used some of their stuff in the past that turned out well for me, so why not try the PREMIUM LUBEE *insert awesome loud voice here*.  

The lube bottle is packaged in a pretty straight forward way: It’s clear and silvery, and the lube inside is clear. This could mayyybe be interpretted as bland? But then again it’s a premium lube, it doesn’t need all the hokey bright colours and crazy print. It also comes with a press-lid, which leads to really easy application/use and little mess when applying. It goes where you want it to, and thanks for that! It also lists on the side what it does and doesn’t do , which is pretty helpful , minus the fact that there is no ingredients list on the side.

This lube boasts that it is specifically designed for women, which I can believe. It’s very silky and smooth, something that I believe us ladies appreciate in a lube and just in general. It also says it is a skin conditioner, moisterizer, and a theraputic massage forumla. This proved to be fairly true! I rubbed some on my wrists and knuckles which become very dry in the winter, and bam! soft skin. It’s also water resistant so it doesn’t rub off very easily if you wash your hands throughout the day. Therefore this is a great lube to use in the shower – I have often avoided sex in the shower because your own lubes and water based just seem to wash away. This lube made sex in the shower very enjoyable for me and I actually stayed in the whole time, whereas before I’d suggest we leave like 10 minutes into foreplay. HOWEVER – this does lead to a problem when you want to wash it off your junk! It didn’t come off with just a lather of soap and water, and it did the water-resistant thing where it looks like you mixed oil and water – you can see the water drops sittng on top of the oil. Honestly I had to scrub my vagina with a loofa to get this stuff off, and I don’t like feeling like I’m slipping around all day at work or running errands. Needless to say, this isn’t a quick-action based lube. You’ll need time and effort after to get it off of you, so unless you’re planning a night in or have a long lunch hour, I wouldn’t use it for daily use out of the shower.

The lube says it is fragrance free, and while I believe it mostly is, is does have a faint faiiiint scent going on. It isn’t overpowering or anything though, and actually its just a light sweet smell or something, to faint to really name. Which is good, because like I’ve mentioned before, I don’t like when something is totally scentless because that just doesn’t happen in the real world except with  water. It doesn’t have a taste though, and that’s good. Nothing bitter about it. It is also latex safe, but not silicone safe. So I wouldn’t suggest using it with your favourite silicone toy alone, but a condom slipped on top should do the trick.

So enough for background – I reallllllyyy liked this lube. It is, as it says, silkly and smooth feeling and it lasted a really long time. IWhen my boyfriend and I used it, it was natural feeling and didn’t have that weird ‘slapity slap slap’ sound that I find some water based lubes provide. It also wasn’t tacky at all and we didn’t have to reapply it at any point. When I used it with my glass dildo with a condom on, same nice result. It didn’t smell, didn’t feel weird or warming, and it was nice and luxurious. I also didn’t feel like it was all over my legs or anything when I got up and walked around, which is nice because some silicone lubes have left me with that smudged out mess.  Again, never had to apply. Sweeeeeeeeet.

So overall, probably a 8.5 out of 10 for this Premium JO lube. I really liked the way it feels, but it was super hard to wash the fuck off! And the other .5 percent is off because they didn’t make this product glycerine or oil free, which they did with their Agape Lube. Simply put though, friggen awesome.

So..earthly looking – The Leaf Vitality Vibrator

I have always been interested in the Leaf Vibrator line, so when I was looking into getting a double-stimulation vibrator, I decided to try this good boy (normally I say bad boy butttt this toy was specifically well-behaved).

not my handssss <- Not my handsss!

The Vitality Vibrator is done by the Leaf brand, which boasts that their products are “environmentally friendly and [contain] a rechargeable lithium-polymer battery to help you reduce your carbon footprint.” I really actually like this idea because I dunno, mild winters have me feeling like global warming is coming sooooon. And what better way to reduce my input on this than through my sexual adventures? On to the review..

The vibrator comes in a nice cardboard-like box. I think that’s just keeping up with appearances though and I’m not 100% sure if this is a recycled box or anything. It also comes with a nice little canvas-like bag that is quite handy and again, keeping up with appearances. Overall, Leaf has gone a good job at really branding this product because I feel like I’m doing something for the earth by buying it! Woohoo.

The vibrator itself is a new take on the whole dual-stimulation bit as its a style I’ve never seen before. It is very sleek looking, and has two “leaves” that come out from a base that is ball-like. It’s a nice bright green colour, which isn’t usually reserved for a vibrator but is however reserved for environmentally friendly things (yayy green sex!). The leaves aren’t exactly super-soft maluable things, in fact they appear to be very hard inside, but the outside is coated in 100% silicone so they are soft where it counts. They are maluable at the base, and can pretty much be pulled apart into a 180 degree-ish angle. The buttons to control the vibrator are around the centre of the vibrator along with the charging port. I like the idea of a rechargeable vibrator, but I wouldn’t suggest using it while it’s charging. In fact, I don’t even know if it works while it’s plugged in (to be tested!). It also indicates that it is charging by a red light at the base that turns off when it is fully charged. The vibrator is also run by two separate motors for each of the leaves, so you can choose what kind of power you want for each one with the pair of buttons on either side of the vibe. That’s pretty unique in such a cohesive-looking thing! The motors are controlled by  a sort of push and hold idea, where if you want to increase the vibrators you have to hold down the button to move up the vibration scale. I didn’t mind this idea as there wasn’t such a ‘bzzzt, bzzzzzzzt, bZZZTTT’ aspect to the vibrator. It’s kind of nice that you can just slowly and, ahem, naturally increase the vibrations. To turn it off, it’s just one quick click of the button(s).

The vibrations itself – they’re okkayyyy. I would say they lay at the moderate to low scale, which is good if maybe you’re sensitive or not looking for a strong vibrator. The vibrations don’t run very deep and seem to be just localized to the leaves themselves, but again, if that’s what you like then hey. Howeverrrr, I would have liked a little more kick. I had to actually push down a bit on one of the leaves that was on my clit, and that increased the vibrations a bitt. It’s also a nice and quiet toy for the most part. From my bedroom there is no way you could hear it out in the hallway unless you have super hearing and are pressed up against the door, and when I had some music on I couldn’t hear it really at all from under my blankets. Perhaps comes along with the lighter vibrations? Probably.  

So the Vitality is unique in its purpose. Although there are many dual-stimulation vibes out there, they don’t have such a nice looking design as this one. There is a slightly bigger leaf that seems to indicate that it is meant for internal or vaginal purposes, while the smaller leaf is for external or clit stimulation. The first time I tried the Vitality I did it that way, but given the fact that it looks so similar either way and that the buttons are the same, I flipped it around. I liked this method better because I usually like minimal vaginal penetration when I am doing solo “work” and lots of heavy clitoral stimulation. The smaller leaf was almost justtt a bit too short or small for me at least, and the bigger leaf covered more ground so it just felt better. Maybe if the design made it so the leaves were the same size it would be better? The bigger leaf isn’t HUGEEEE so it’s not like it would be unpleasant in the vagina, I just wanted a bigger leaf on my clit! (I never thought I’d be saying the words of the biblical Eve….). Onto my next point – like I said, the big leaf isn’t big, so I wouldn’t count on this to deliver any fullness feeling when using this toy. You could maybe try to push the two leaves together and insert it all together, which I’ve heard some do with this toy, but you’d be using the clitoral stimulation. I don’t think I’d be trying this for myself though. This also isn’t really an anal toy or double-penetration toy as the angle isn’t designed for that and is bending the other way than it should for that. It also isn’t easy to put a condom on given it’s design, so I’d try to avoid that. Overall though, it gave a pretty good performance. It felt sleek inside me, and the bending of the leaf onto my clit and the other onto the inside-top of my vag felt nice. I wouldn’t say that it was g-spot stimulating, but it was still really nice. Again, it didn’t pack the vibrating punch I would normally like, but hey, it was still good. 🙂

This is also a toy you’re going to want to use with a water-based lube and not a silicone one as, as I mentioned, its silicone, and you don’t want to degrade the quality of your new pretty toyyy. It is also waterproof – so washing it is super easy and I don’t have to worry about ruining it. I would suggest using a toy-cleaner instead of regular soap as sometimes soap is anti-bacterial and can dry out your downstairs and remove your natural lady bacteria. Plus toy cleaners are designed to clean silicone, amongst other things, so I would stick to that. If you realllllllyyy wanna use soap…. baby soap.

I’m going to give the Vitality Leaf Vibrator aaaaaa  8 out of 10, simply because it just doesn’t pack the vibrating punch that I want and that counts for a lot with me, plus I felt like the design of the bigger and small leaves was flawed. However it does have a really nice overall design and look, and the fact that it has two motors means they put money and effort into this toy. I also really liked that it is environmentally friendly and rechargeable, and that it doesn’t really actually look too much like a vibrator. Pretty, green, and luxurious! So, I liked it.


Intimate Organics Adventure Anal Relaxing Spray – Ta Daa

So I’m probably going to be reviewing a large portion of Intimate Organics stuff on here because I have, in fact, bought many of their products. Of course I’ll be reviewing other brands of such products, but for now I’m going to be reviewing what I have and what is in this sex drawer of mine!

Anal play – oh how fun and scary you can be. Unlike the vagina, which is fairly resilient, the anus is quite sensitive and easy to tears. Even if you’re not going full throttle, small tears can occur and that lead to lots of little problems or even BIGGGG problems if you’re not careful. So, when it comes to having safe anal sex, one has got to wonder what you can do about that. I mean, you can’t ignore the butt! I actually didn’t know such products as Intimate Organics Adventure Anal Relaxing Spray existed, I just kind of thought you eased up after a while and applied some lube. Alas, I was so wrong!

This bottle has Intimate Organics’ standard label of the female form and a stem across the stomach. As I’ve said below in my review about Intimate Organics’ Intense Clit Stimulating Gel, I like the packaging. It looks more like a spa or cosmetic product than any kind of sex spray, unless you actually read the label. So that is a hurrah for me. It also comes in a spray bottle, which I thought was actually pretty nice because my boyfriend doesn’t have to slather a bunch of stuff all over his hands like you would with a lube. It provides very quick and easy application, which is a plus when you already have to take time with the backdoor. It is also probably beneficial because spraying something like this on your hands can lead to rubbing your eyes and possibly irritating them because this product contains clove oil, and I just don’t know how well your eyeballs handle cloves! Plus you don’t want to relax your eyes or maybe even your fingers for that matter – gotta see and pick things up here people.

Onto ingredients – as mentioned, this product contains clove oil, goji berry, aloe, and lemongrass. Which, actually, makes anal sex smell like apple cider, and I really enjoy that. I believe it comes mainly from the cloves, and given the freezing cold winter, there is nothing I like to think about more than apple cider and anal sex. The clove oil is also the active ingredient in it, which is what makes it relaxing. A lot of anal products that provide “anal-ease” use Benzocaine or Lidocaine as anesthetics, which literally numbs your ass. Just like when youhave surgery, these other products actually make you inresponsive to pain and that shit is just freaky! I mean, how are you supposed to feel when something isn’t going right? You can’t, that’s the point. So hello tears in your anus. With this relaxing product Intimate Organics has coined, you can actually feel everything that is happening, it’s just easier to penetrate.

Onto my experience: I had my boyfriend spray this product on my tush about 5 minutes before we got down to business. The box says to wait 3-10 minutes, so we went somewhere inbetweenish. We also used a condom, because we both agree that for safety and sanitary reasons that needs to be done. Lucky thing is, this product is also latex-condom friendly and doesn’t deteriorate the condom in anyway. Phew! Anyhow, when it came time to insertion, I found it took WAYYY less time than it usually does and it just went in quicker. And again, I could feel everytihng that was going on in there and it was super pleasurable. In comparison to using just lube, this was a really great product because I didn’t have to go over that talk-yourself-through-it moment (haha), and instead just got to have great anal sex.

All in all, this product was a pretty awesome 10 out of 10 for me. It just covers all the bases, from smelling nice, to actually working, to not being something that just numbs my butt and leaves me open to injury, and also because this is ORGANIC and VEGAN. I mean, you could eat this stuff if you wanted to, but I think the apple cider smell may not be trasnferred into taste. Never know til you try it! I also found out that Initmate Organics has an Anal Spray for men called Daring Anal Relaxing Spray. I think the ingredients are the same, but I kinda get that anal sex is a big part of both straight and gay men’s lives, and that it may not involve a female at all. Therefore, why would they want to buy a product with a chick on the front? The Daring spray has a hot sexy man body on the front, which makes me tempted to buy it, but then again I like to think his product is for ME so I get the female version. I also respect the fact that a company has made a product that can be geared towards the gay community, which is different from a lot of other companies that just lump all their products together. It’s important to gear media and products towards people of a different sexuality because it’s not exactly fair to assume that evvverybody likes a chick on the front of their product. The rest of the world embraces that we are all different, so therefore we all are drawn to different things.